A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first?
The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions.
The advantage of having a blonde as your girlfriend is that you can park in the handicap zone.
A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.
She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’
Irritated, the blonde cop said, “Don’t be a smartass!, it’s got your picture on it!”
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”
Blonde vs Lawyer
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren’t dumb.
They begged: “Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we’re not dumb.”
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: “What is the first month of the year?”
The blonde responded: “November?”
“Nope,” said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, “Give her another chance, give her another chance.”
So the man asked: “What is the capital of the U.S.A ?”
The blonde responded: “Paris?”
So the crowd began chanting again: “Give her another chance, give her another chance.”
The man said: “Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?”
The blonde replied: “Two?”
“Give her another chance, Give her another chance.” screamed the crowd.
Blonde and boyfriend go to movies.
Blonde: Can I have two tickets please?
Clerk at movies: For Romeo and Juliet?
Blonde: No,for my boyfriend and me.
A young blonde secretary was describing her blind date to a friend.
“After dinner,” she said, “he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that.”
“That was smart,” her friend said, approvingly. “Then what happened?”
“He kept insisting, and I kept refusing,” the secretary said.
“You didn’t weaken your resolve, did you?” asked the friend.
“Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry.”
Slices of Pizza
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”