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Earth Day Jokes

Q: Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?
A: They like to avoid the flush.

Q: What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?
A: May the Forest be with you.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling green!

Q: What is a tree’s least favorite month?
A: Sep-timber!

Q: What did the Tree Hugging hottie say to the guy in the SUV?
A: “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming”

Q: How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures?
A: By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius!

Q: Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?
A: The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!

Q: How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

Q: Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?
A: Polly, Ethel and Ian

Q: What lies between a good recycler and a bad recycler?
A: Oregon

Q: How do oil companies deal with with oil spills?
A: Slick lawyers.

Q: What do you get when you cross an environmentalist with direct action?
A: Arrested!

Q: Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard on Earth Day?
A: Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.

Q: Why are people always tired on Earth Day?
A: Because they just finished a March

Q: How do trees get on the internet?
A: They log in.

Being unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint.

In honor of Earth day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder.

We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors we borrow it from our children.

Dear Earth, I hope you’re enjoying your stupid DAY. Sincerely, Pluto.

“Mother Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.”

There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.

“The earth is what we all have in common.”

On Earth Day, take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.

For 300 years weve been conquering Nature. Now were beating it to death.

Only after the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.

Wind Farms
‘I have an obsession with wind farms.’
‘Yes. I’m a huge fan.’

Organic Vegetables

A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home.

The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were.

The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?”

To which the produce guy replied, “No, sir, you will have to do that yourself.”

Vegetable Garden

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her organic vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t get her organic tomatoes to ripen.

Admiring her neighbor’s garden, which had beautiful bright red organic tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret.

“It’s really quite simple,” the old man explained. “Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment.”

Desperate for the perfect organic garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.

Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress. “So,” he asked, “any luck with your tomatoes?”

“No,” she replied excitedly… “but you should see the size of my cucumbers!”

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