Funny Blonde Jokes
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, “I slept with a Brazilian….”
The blonde replies, “Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?”
Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
A: Tell her drinks are on the house.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A: A blow job with handlebars
Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q:Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.
Q: Why don’t blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A: She couldn’t figure out who the other mother was.
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She’ll blow your mind, too.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop
A blonde walked into the dentist office and sat down in the chair.
The dentist said “Open Wide”
“I can’t” The blonde said. “This chair has arms”
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she is the only one that’s 18.
A blonde walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only”.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this place.”
“That’s OK, ” says the blonde. “I’ll take two of them…”
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she’s deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress’s name tag on her shirt. ”Gee, that’s nice. What did you name the other one?”
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend’s dandruff problem.
The redhead says “Why don’t you give him Head and Shoulders?”
The blonde replies, “How do you give shoulders?”