Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Good Fry-day.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant on Good Friday?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
It’s good friday. Good because 2000 years ago the events of today prove that we matter to God.
TGIF….Thank God It’s Friday…..Please Do.
Good Friday or, as the Jewish like to call it ….. “We got him day”.
My mother in law is getting buried today.
Turns out it won’t be Good Friday after all,
It will be a great one
It’s sad that Americans get more excited about Black Friday than Good Friday; more interested in sales than the greatest gift.
If Catholics call the day that Jesus died ‘Good’ Friday, then just imagine how ecstatic they’ll be when they find out that God doesn’t exist
It’s Good Friday! Well technically Friday is always good because it’s the start of the weekend.
There are 3 fundamental truths about religion: Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Son of God, Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the Vicar of Christ, and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the bar on Good Friday.
Work Or Play
A man wonders if having sex on Good Friday is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, “My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Good Friday.”
The man thinks: “What does a priest know about sex?”
He goes to minister… a married man, experienced…. for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for Good Friday! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority — a man of thousands of year’s tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question and states, “My son, sex is definitely play.”
The man replies, “rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”
The rabbi softly speaks, ” If sex were work…my wife would have the maid do it.”
Good Friday Vigil
A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The parishioner replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.” Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Good Friday?” He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
Drinking and Driving
An Irish priest is driving down to New York for service on Good Friday and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest, fingers crossed. The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”
A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring liturgy of the passion of Christ in church on Good Friday. Suddenly the red sanctuary lamp caught his eye. Tugging his father’s sleeve, he said, “Daddy, when the light turns green can we go?”