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Funny statuses about divorce

Funny statuses about divorceI wonder if I’m the only woman who celebrated her divorce?

I feel like a bridge in St. Petersburg, I am constantly being bred

There are more successful divorces than successful marriages. We don’t know very well who we marry, but we know very well who we divorce.

I understand why you choose girls for yourself … much worse than me … it’s just that you look better against their background!

I wonder why they ask for a reason when they divorce, but not when they register a marriage?

They quarreled so enthusiastically that they could not proceed with the divorce in any way.

To avoid frequent divorces, it is not enough to live soul to soul. You need to live and body to body !!!

I know a great diet – divorce! extra pounds are melting before our eyes and at the same time you can eat absolutely everything and in any quantities!

Ah! My divorce is just an excuse to get married…

Both are equally to blame for the divorce: 50% of the husband … and 50% of his mother!

If a monkey wrench is used for divorce, then the case will be heard not in a civil court, but in a criminal court.

If I leave forever and turn around at the same time, it’s not because I want to come back, but because I want to check if I have closed the door tightly behind me.

A friend of mine once said: in a divorce, you never choose between loneliness and non-loneliness. You choose between the loneliness of a slave and the loneliness of a free man.

All a woman needs for a divorce is a husband.

Today I watched a program on the topic “The institution of marriage in modern society”… Now, when I meet everyone, I will say that I have not two divorces, but two higher educations!

After the breakup with her husband, she was inconsolable for a long time, but after two hours she calmed down.

Divorce is not impromptu! He needs to devote years of marriage…

If the relationship is over, then I will cry on a leather sofa and in a mink coat!!!

What is a man good for after a divorce? Problems of recycling.

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than a divorce.

Girls, if you are invited to the registry office, and there are no flowers, no gifts, no fancy cars, then it means that you are stupidly BRED!

I got angry at my husband… I wrote with a marker in his passport…”DIVORCED!”

After a divorce, some become lonely, while others become free.

If the spouses have a lot in common, then they have something to share in a divorce.

Don’t be afraid of girls …, divorce is nothing more than a chance… – TO GET MARRIED SUCCESSFULLY!!!
Did I kick my husband out… Of course not! He voluntarily left… with his hands proudly raised to the top…

Proud – because they have already humiliated!!! Eternal — from the fact that the soul died …. Bitch – because they once threw!!! I VOWED NOT TO LOVE ANYONE……. NEVER….

For the mechanism of divorce, treason is a wrench.

You will find better than me, you will find worse than me, but you will never find someone like me!

I don’t like to be unfounded
I am firm in my decisions…
And if they parted amicably with you
Believe me, this is forever…

Waiting for someone. Someone’s ex. Someone’s future. Today she is loving, terribly tender, and tomorrow she is flattering and indifferent. Not in a hurry to live. I’m real.

Think of yourself as a diamond that needs a decent frame!

You can divorce your wife, or your husband, and you just can’t divorce your memory. In this regard, the marriage is indissoluble…

I saw my ex-husband with a new girlfriend… I didn’t think freely: “How good I am!”

If you want to find out what your friends think about your husband, say that he turned out to be a scumbag, and you are getting a divorce.

If at a wedding they shout “Bitterly”, then at a divorce they are silent “Sweetly”.

Moaning about fatigue was his forte. She was just a workhorse… That’s how the herd broke up, I mean, the family…

Divorce, inventory of jointly acquired property: “- one castle in Monaco (air)— – one castle on the Cote d’Azur (sandy)”.

I’m a born housewife. Every time I leave a man, I’m left with his house.

A woman goes from a dog to her mother, from an impotent man to a lover, and from a fool to nowhere … just to get away from this nonentity…

Only bridges are beautifully bred…

Divorce and maiden name!!!

It seems to me that the male population of the planet has gone crazy. Apparently, somehow they got wind that one very cool girl became free.

After a proper divorce, only the horns should remain for the husband.

All weddings are similar to each other, but all divorces are interesting in their own way.

Divorce is as old as marriage, although, however, marriage is a couple of weeks older.

I have never doubted my price…
And believe me, I will not give up on the tariff…
Since you got it too cheap then…
Then I will cost you very much later…

You know: I have never been able to become the one you dreamed of… But I can be the one you won’t get.

I wanted, I loved, I got mad, I forgot.

A matriculation certificate is not a high school graduation certificate, but a divorce certificate.

The seal of marriage registration in the passport is a power of attorney to receive the husband’s property in case of divorce.

A real woman takes her children, clothes and cosmetics and LEAVES, leaving everything else in the past.

Many girls got married in order not to spend evenings alone, and for the same reason divorced.

Marriages are made in heaven, but they break up when landing unsuccessfully…

After the divorce – there are no guilty, there are victims.

Thanks to divorces, there are more weddings.

Divorce is the beginning of a new life!!!;-) I know that for sure now!

They say that after the third divorce you feel three times freer than after the first…

Individuals fall in love, and legal entities get divorced.

If the work has started to give pleasure, then it’s time to get divorced.

The freedom to say what you want and do what you want is called divorce.

Divorce at 30 is an unpleasant reality, at 40 it is an unseemly act, at 50 it is meanness, at 60 it is stupidity.

An original way to get divorced.
1. Tear the marriage certificate to shreds.
2. Tear out the pages from the passports where the marital status is indicated.
The divorce is ready!!! Very fast. Why are there lawsuits?!

If you change yourself— you won’t file for divorce.

Hares, seals and suns get married and get married, and goats, bitches and deer get divorced.

– I’m leaving you!
– Take the garbage, please.

Looking for a husband. A little about myself: I don’t like to cook, sleep until lunch, swear, drink, fight if necessary. In case of divorce, I’ll take the car.

Divorce is a discount.

Men! Threatening your wife with a divorce, think about who will need you with loans, alimony and in your underpants … ?

It turns out that you can get drunk not only from love, alcohol, but as one case showed today — and from divorce, too

Divorce is a painful process: cupids are trying to pull their arrows back.

With whom you will lead, you will divorce.

Marriage is the main cause of divorce.

If they say “It will heal before the wedding” before the wedding, then what do they say after the wedding? “Will it heal before the divorce”?

The mitigating circumstance in the case of divorce should be that when the parties entered into marriage they acted in a state of passion.

Men are like a good dress, it seems to fit well, and the style is suitable. But it feels like I’ve seen him on some bitch…

– Explain why you are getting a divorce? – Because they got married…

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