Funny statuses about life

After 40°, life is just beginning!

The law of life — in whatever area you would not move, a neighbor with a drill will find you everywhere!

A woman should be undressed only once, so that she can dress for the rest of her life…

Life should be lived in such a way that pigeons, flying over your monument, are tolerated out of respect.

I envy only one person in my life. To her husband!!! It’s necessary, so lucky with my wife!!!

I didn’t care about the black and white stripes of life… I’m walking on my… – purple.

To live a long, fun life – you just have to forget about death…

Yes, we had a good walk yesterday! Now I want to start a new life… in a new city… under a new name…

If the locksmith Sidorov tells his grandchildren about his life, they will get drunk even before they go to school.

Prolonged repairs are an illusion of the meaning of life.

I apologize to everyone I have removed from my life… Nothing personal … as in fact and nothing in common…

My heart is busy with the most important thing in life — it pumps blood…

– Think … in Google translator from Russian to Tagalog, the word LIFE translates as Buhay. — How native it is, this Tagalog.

– They say you got married? So how’s family life? – yes, how … beer is not allowed, football is not allowed, friends are not allowed … – you probably regret it? – you can’t regret it either…

Life in the house went on quietly… Until my wife noticed that our neighbor was washing the stairwell with my underpants…

Yes. I made a lot of mistakes. Life, unfortunately, without instructions.

Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces working hours.

Have you learned how to kiss on tomatoes and think you’re ready for life? Buy bananas.

Cactus is a cucumber that has been deeply decayed in life.

Error again … nothing, I will overload my life and create a new user!

To all those who are so interested in my life, I officially inform you: I am still young, beautiful, happy and not even on a diet!

If your dreams don’t last for a couple of life sentences, then these are so-so dreams…

The stingy pays twice, the stupid pays three times. The sucker pays all his life.

I finally learned how to play FUCK and life is getting better!!!

Life is given to a person once, but, as a rule, at the most inopportune moment.

Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and a bad mood.