Halloween Short Jokes

What do you call a dancing ghost?
Polka-haunt-us

Which ghost is the best dancer?
The Boogie Man!

Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween?
Me: Drunk!

What do you call a cheesy halloween dance?
The muenster mash!

Why couldn’t the witch have children?
Her husband had a hallow weenie.

What Halloween tradition doesn’t require a mask?
S-Karen.

Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!

For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues

“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.

I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.

When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
On Fry Day

What’s a monsters favorite desert?
I-Scream!

What do you call a Halloween boner?
Petrified wood

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?
A “hollow-weenie!”

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house?
The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).

How do you write a book about halloween?
With a ghostwriter.

What do the movies Halloween and Shrek have in common?
Michael Myers!

I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers

Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”