In English

How do you know if a Blonde has been using your computer?

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A thought.


Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it.


Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
She wanted a lot of male in her box.


“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.


How do you know if a Blonde has been using your computer?
The joystick is still wet.


What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
They’re both empty from the neck up.


Blonde walks into a doctors office and says:”Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts… When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!” The Doctor replies: “Your finger is broken.”


Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency?
They can’t remember the number.


What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave!


A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”


Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said ‘concentrate’.


How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.


How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.


A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”


How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.


A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!” Confused, he replies, “Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.” After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”


How do you confuse a blonde?
Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

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