Mothers Day Jokes

Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks”
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: “Where’s Popcorn?”

Q: Why is a computer so smart?
A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.

Q: What do you call a mom who can’t draw?
A: Tracy.

Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!

Q: What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip)?
A: The internet, Telephone, Tell your mom.

Q: What do you call a small mom?
A: minimum.

Q: What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: catch up!

Q: Why don’t mothers wear watches?
A: There’s a clock on the stove.

Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his mom was in a jam!

Q: What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost?
A: I want my mummy.

Q: What did the momma say to the foal?
A: Its pasture your bedtime

Q: What book do moms like the most?
A: “Their husbands checkbook!”

Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.

Q: Did you hear the song about the hot mom?
A: It goes “My milfshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A: It’s time to go to sweep!

My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.”
I said, “Oh yea”..Just you wait.”

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mommy snake: Yes, son. Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Student: When my mother sees my report card!

I love strong, powerful mothers. They can open jars without my help.

My mother gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, she believed in me.

All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

She works hard for no money… So you better treat her right.

The only time your mom smiled when you were crying….. is when you were born.

My mom likes to play this game called “Yell from four rooms away” and get upset when I can’t hear her.

My mom says its her house but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too

A boy goes to a strip club. His MOM gets angry
Mom :Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
BOY: Yes, I saw dad!

At 3 years “Mommy I love you.
At 10 years “Mom whatever”
At 16 years “Mom your so annoying.”
At 18 years “I’m leaving this house”.
At 25 years “Mom you were right”.
At 50 years ” I don’t want to lose my Mom.
At 70 years ” I would give up everything to have my mom here with me”.

Bugs
“Mom, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his mother replied.
After dinner the mother inquired, “Now, baby, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Nude Beach
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says…”Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.”
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy’s!” The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.”
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got !”