Q: When do women drink alcohol?
A: Wine O’Clock.
A: 2 drinks.
Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: He’s nursing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for Bud Light!
Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat?
A: They are both SO close to water!
Q: What do you say when you’re gonna drunk dial someone?
A: Al-cohol you
Q: What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common?
A: Their both empty from the neck up!
Q: Why are Men like coolers?
A: Load them with Bud Light, and you can take them anywhere!
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!
Q: Why don’t Democrats drink?
A: It interferes with their suffering!
Q: Why did the bartender mix Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka for the gynecologist?
A: She ordered a “Pabst Smir!”
Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: How do you know when you really pissed off your Bartender?
A: She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary!
Q: Why doesn’t Simon Cowell drink whiskey?
A: Because it makes him mean!
Q: What does an alcoholic ghost drink?
Q: What do you call a man with a shot of whiskey on his head?
A: A taxi. Clearly, he’s had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.
What is the difference between an alcoholic and drunk?
A drunk drinks until he passes out, an alcoholic drinks till the house burns down with them in it.
A bee goes into a bar,
It comes out 2 hours later buzzing
Boy: “I love you so much, I could never live without you.”
Girl: “Is that you or the beer talking?”
Boy: “It’s me talking to the beer.”