jokes

  • In EnglishStatuses about the sister

    Statuses about the sister

    Sisters are two jerks who just categorically can't live without each other. I can deceive everyone, but not my sister. Charlotte Gray Happiness is when you remember the best summer moments with your sister on a cold evening. Sister is like your mirror and your opposite. Younger sisters attract only those who do not have them. A sister is a timeless connection. We remember each other…

  • In EnglishFunny love statuses

    Funny love statuses

    Love is six letters: 2 vowels, 3 consonants, a soft sign, and two crazies! Happiness is when the same person is in the house, in the bed, and in the head.... ¶¶ For the joys of love, once paid for with pain, we're so afraid of new beginnings that we wear a condom on our souls ¶¶ Love is when you give a man freedom of…

  • In EnglishFunny statuses about life

    Funny statuses about life

    After 40°, life is just beginning! The law of life — in whatever area you would not move, a neighbor with a drill will find you everywhere! A woman should be undressed only once, so that she can dress for the rest of her life… Life should be lived in such a way that pigeons, flying over your monument, are tolerated out of respect. I envy…

  • In EnglishFunny statuses about jobs

    Funny statuses about jobs

    There is such a profession - to sit at work. The last stage of freaking out from idleness at work is when you start reading spam. Coming out of the chief's office, he looked somehow... strained… Labor made a man out of a monkey. The person doesn't want to work anymore. You never know… Morning is such a part of the day when you envy the…

  • In EnglishFunny statuses about divorce

    Funny statuses about divorce

    I wonder if I'm the only woman who celebrated her divorce? I feel like a bridge in St. Petersburg, I am constantly being bred There are more successful divorces than successful marriages. We don't know very well who we marry, but we know very well who we divorce. I understand why you choose girls for yourself ... much worse than me ... it's just that you…

  • In EnglishCheerful statuses on the positive

    Cheerful statuses on the positive

    When you have money, it's somehow easier to agree that it's not about money. Money spoils people - so we have mostly good people. If money is measured in piles, I'm in the hole. The best method of losing weight is no money, no munchies and half a month until payday Lack of money makes the razor blade unbluntable at all. Those who think lack of…

  • In EnglishHumorous funny statues with meaning about life

    Humorous funny statues with meaning about life

    I want to be like when I was a kid, I ran out of money, I went and picked up ..... Nothing in nature disappears without a trace, except money. Money doesn't appear out of nowhere, but easily goes nowhere. Nothing in a man's appearance irritates a woman more than the lack of money. I have two pieces of news. The bad: I spent all your…

  • In EnglishIndependence Day Jokes

    Independence Day Jokes

    Independence Day Jokes Food, Family, Fourth of july, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever! What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk? The Star-Spangled Banner. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British! How come there's no Knock Knock joke about America? Because freedom rings. What's red, white, black and blue? Uncle Sam…

  • In EnglishMothers Day Jokes

    Mothers Day Jokes

    Mothers Day Jokes Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks" Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?" Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: "Where's Popcorn?" Q: Why is a computer so smart? A: Cause it listens to its motherboard. Q: What do you call a mom who can't draw?…

  • In EnglishBlack Friday Jokes

    Black Friday Jokes

    What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common? They know what it's like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year Black Friday = Broke Saturday Why did Michael Jackson go Black Friday shopping? He heard boys underwear was half off. What was the horse…

  • In EnglishEarth Day Jokes

    Earth Day Jokes

    Q: Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards? A: They like to avoid the flush. Q: What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree? A: May the Forest be with you. Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor? A: It was feeling green! Q: What is a tree's least favorite month? A: Sep-timber! Q: What did the Tree Hugging hottie say to…

  • In EnglishFunny Good Friday Jokes

    Funny Good Friday Jokes

    Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Good Fry-day. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant on Good Friday? A: Dress her up as an altar boy. It's good friday. Good because 2000 years ago the events of today prove that we matter to God. TGIF....Thank God It's Friday.....Please Do. Good Friday or, as the Jewish like to call it .....…

  • In EnglishHalloween Short Jokes

    Halloween Short Jokes

    What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man! Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk! What do you call a cheesy halloween dance? The muenster mash! Why couldn't the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie. What Halloween tradition doesn't require a mask? S-Karen. Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden,…

  • In EnglishBeauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Jokes

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Jokes

    My body is not a temple.....it's a distillery with legs. What is the difference between an alcoholic and drunk? A drunk drinks until he passes out, an alcoholic drinks till the house burns down with them in it. A bee goes into a bar, It comes out 2 hours later buzzing Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Girl: "Is that…

Кнопка «Наверх»
Смешные до слез анекдоты, старые и современные

Наш сайт использует файлы cookies, чтобы улучшить работу и повысить эффективность сайта. Продолжая работу с сайтом, вы соглашаетесь с использованием нами cookies и политикой конфиденциальности.

Принять